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Oh yeah… I have Asthma

This topic is for all those times we momentarily "forget" we have asthma and do something normal (like run around with sparklers) and then have an attack. And while you are having your dad speed you off to get your nebulizers because inhalers aren't touching it, you think to yourself… "Oh yeahhhhh….. I have asthma… Maybe I shouldn't have done that." Lol. 

Mine for yesterday was walking around a humid, moldy, sacred indian ground park looking at wild peacocks. It took me a while to realize why my skin was breaking out and my breathing so bad.. "Oh yeah, I have allergies and asthma…. Maybe I shouldn've done that! I guess I won't go to the flute circle there next week :/ " lol . So easy to forget. I am still completely stuffed up today. 

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  • Melissa G

    I was so desperate in the spring for fresh air, the winter was so long this year, I opened up the house without even thinking about the pollen count. Needless to say the next day I felt awful. My chest was so tight and I was sneezing and coughing like crazy.  

  • Pljohns

    Oh no Shea!  It's so hard when you want so desperately to do "normal" things and then regret it.  None of us does things like that on purpose but it just happens.  I've often said I would give my right arm not to have asthma and sometimes when I get just totally fed up with it, I just want to do something that I use to do.  I so hope you get feeling better soon!

  • Kathy P

    I had an instance last week! I went to a concert at a small arena. No floor seats, just everyone milling around. then I spotted the smoke machine! And confetti cannons! I could feel my throat starting to tingle as I was standing there probably 20 ft from the smoke machine!

    All's well that ends well and it was a great concert. But ugh! I didn't even think about it beforehand! Good think I had pretreated anyway.

  • Shea

    Concerts and crowds are tough… At a beach event last year this time I couldnt seem to get away from smokers. I had brought a handgeld fan and it helped alot if I held it right by my face and nose and it blew the smoke away. 

    For me, it often sneaks up on me, and then hits me super-hard. 

    Melissa I totally have done that! It is so tempting certain times of year!

  • K8sMom2002

    Hugs, guys! Shea, what a not so great ending to what should have been an interesting day out — but I love your matter-of-fact attitude and the way you have incorporated an "I can do better next time" way of thinking.

  • LK

    Great topic, Shea!!  Sorry such a fun day turned into such a hard day!

    Yep, for sure, absolutely, me, too!!!  Like all of you have mentioned above we just get fed up with dealing with all this and want to do activities with our friends and families. 

    After the fact, I usually find myself shaking my head and thinking "When will I ever learn??"  Glad I am not the only person who temporarily "forgets" what is best for myself.  

    Here's to all of us learning to find the right balance between - 

    1. keeping ourselves as healthy as possible to avoid setbacks and
    2. being able to interact with family and friends to the extent that we are able.

     

  • Pljohns

    Yep-last time I did that was when I decided it was a good idea to  smell all of the air fresheners so i could find one that didn't bother me-heck, but the time I think i did, I was having so many issues it didn't matter.

  • LK

    The good thing about reading all of our responses is that it reminds me that while we need to be diligent about avoiding our triggers if possible, I can still smile at how we are all still human and make mistakes.  The kinds of mistakes that my kids made when they were teens.  The kinds of mistakes that would have me shaking me head saying " What in the world were you thinking??"    Now I just say that to myself!

    Guess it's good to be humble!  

  • Shea

    Lol yes, after I first was diagnosed with my disease I knew nothing about dander and I still thought "hypoallergenc" dogs were actually hypoallergenic. This person had a hypoallergenic dog and I wanted to know if I would be affected so I just pet him and put my face near him… Lol… Immediately I sneeze and cough and wheeze and itch (and that was while on super high prednisone and cytoxan still too).. Im like "oops I guess not"… And I am dummy. So I do have some tolerance for others who don't know because I was once like them. I also dont (purposefully) use myself as an allergy-detector anymore lol. 

  • Pljohns

    Ok-I'm going to fess up and I deserve a good kick in the pants-I've always had the safety net of my regular maintenance meds so I've been the worlds worst at putting off albuterol until I REALLY need it-I know, I'd do better if I took it when I first had symptoms but I've always procrastinated about it and with my maintenance meds, a good part of the time that was OK.  However, I don't have those meds now and am still in that "mode".  The perfume assault and then the goofball that came in coughing her head off at ME got to me BUT have I don't much about it-nope-being stupid here-I've hit a couple of nebs here and there but not like I know I should have.  I've been able to get away with it but now I can't-I guess.  I've got to totally figure out how to handle my asthma without the safety net of my meds and I'm not doing a good job at it right now.  Definitely one of those-OK stupid person-you have asthma and the tightness and difficulty breathing isn't going to get better on its own!

  • K8sMom2002

    Lynn, you're definitely NOT stupid. Every time we have a change in our medications, it takes some getting used to and some adjusting, not to mention monitoring. 

    I think it's one of those time where you change something and you watch it to see how it works out, then report back to your doc. Sometimes things DO work out where, "Oh, yay! We can drop this med!" while other times, it may not turn out that way. 

    I know you're great at keeping notes and spreadsheets. Could you be sure to note times like this and then discuss it with your doc? It's been a struggle for you to get the consistent asthma care you need … I am hoping that you will find a good "asthma care home" where it's a one-stop shop. 

    Shea, lots of people (me included, at one time) think that the problem with pets is their fur or their hair. So they think if they get a dog that sheds less, it has to be better.

    But the problem for people who are allergic to pets is a protein in animals' saliva, skin flakes and urine, so that makes it much harder to manage. Even a hairless cat still has saliva, skin flakes and urine, after all! 

    So glad you're not using yourself as a human allergy-detector!

    And before any of you judge yourselves too harshly … we ARE human, as Lisa says.  We're going to goof up. We're going to think, "Oh, well, THIS time it will be okay."

    Life, after all, is a hard teacher. It gives us the tests … and only then do we get the lesson.

    But when I look back, I see all of us doing that a LOT less than when we first started! 

  • Shea

    Well said K8SMOM!!!

    PLJohns, I totally have had that "push through it" mentality in the past. I would try to get down on my prednisone too quickly, then be struggling for weeks, and basically crawl into my primary care doctor in this horrible state.. Lol 😲 . It was sooo bad. I was so stubborn I just wanted off those meds and I thought I could push my way through it. But…. I finally was like "OK this method is not working and I am just making myself miserable for no reason". I couldnt think myself out of it. I couldnt struggle my way out of it. I couldnt run away from it. And I couldnt ignore it. But I get you on being frustrated and on trying to find new "ground" when changing medications. 

    Any time I do medication changes I get baselines for where I am at on any tests, and make sure I have all the doctors I need. Then I note exactly what med changes, trying to just change one at a time. And then, if it is going down on any medication that is anti-inflammatory, like prednisone, having a plan for if things start acting up.. Mine is adding an extra neb in when first going down on oral prednisone, and then stopping the taper if I have signs of vasculitis .. And going back to my maintenence dose. For my disease, one sign of vasculitis is little black lines on my fingernails that are blood vessels dying. I know if I lower from my maintwnce dose that the first week is going to feel like the flu, so not to have anything big planned. 

    And like K8SMOM says, dont beat yourself up about lapses in judgment or things that seem totally silly when you look back on them–that is what this Topic is all about– we all do it, and looking back and laughing and learning from it has been a good way for me personally to take that next step. Life is super-busy so not every step we make is the most wise, well-thought out, logical thing– it is more like a dance where the terrain is constantly changing from cool sand, to hot coals, to sharp rocks, to slippery ice, and we are just getting the feel of these different environments. Soon it will be instinctual and we will all be pros! Until then, there will be slips, burns, scrapes along the way. 

  • Pljohns

    Thanks guys-I needed that tonight-it’s just been a really tough day and I’m really emotional when my asthma is flaring-and I know that’s what it’s doing.  I know how to handle that, I’ve just been avoiding it and being stubborn  I do a lot like you Shea, I have a baseline and my old, really good pulmo always told me, when you alter any meds, only alter one at a time and only 1 dose change at a time.  do it for 2-3 weeks and if your doing OK, then it’s OK to change something else, if not, go back to it.  I did really great without AM meds and I don’t know if I will be OK without PM meds or not-the multiple perfume assaults and me not doing nebs when I needed them-well, don’t know if I had, if I would have been OK without the PM meds or not.  I think I’m going to add the PM back until I get things settled down for a couple of weeks and then start again but be more diligent about grabbing my neb as soon as ANYTHING tweeks me-something I’m not good at doing.

    I would give ANYTHING if I had a good doc to talk this through with-even a PCP but I don’t have either right now.  Pulmo is OK but i can’t get to him and he really is just a maintenance type doc-just keep doing what your doing no suggestions on what to do when it goes south or anything to try. Unfortunately, I’m stuck with him and I don’t see my new PCP until the end of July.  The doc next to my clinic that I was using as. PCP for convenience sake is on vacation this week-no fill in for him-and you know it’s not great when you go see him for asthma and the first thing he does is ask you want you want and tells you that you know more about asthma than he does-that really instills a lot of confidence right there.  

    I am so thankful for my spreadsheet of data with notes every day on how I feel, what triggers I’ve had, what i’ve done about it……at least I can look back ad see over the last 8 years (3 years with no breaks in data) how my lungs reacted to dropping my meds the last time I tried vs this time.  It’s just a pain and i”m just tired of dealing with it all tonight.

  • LK

    Cynthia and Shea,  Such wisdom in your words!  Thank you!!

    Lynn,  You are not stupid!!  Just wishful of being "normal" like all of us are from time to time.  I hope you are able to get some rest!

  • K8sMom2002

    Big, big hugs, Lynn … I think Lisa says it so well. We want to be "normal." We want to take our lungs for granted like we did even a few years ago. And anytime we're reminded that, hey, our lungs don't quite work like other people's, it's a time for us to go back through that grief cycle, even if it's just a short thirty-second spin through all of the stages. Yanno, you realize, oh, yeah, I have asthma, and then you go through all these emotions:

    Shock and confusion  

    Denial

    Anger: 

    Bargaining: which for me winds up as a cross between  – I got this great idea how I can make this work and everything will be A-OK — and – this is not working at ALL!

    And then there's that  feeling when some of those bargaining strategies don't work out.

    But then you have that true moment when you realize, "Okay, things won't ever be exactly the same as they were, but I am going to be okay as long as I have support from my friends and family."

    I have literally skittered through all of those and back again in the span of 60 seconds. And sometimes I wake up and I find myself slid all the way back to or I'm or I'm just

    The biggest help I've found is to take as deep a breath as I can during that moment and ask myself, "What am I feeling right now? If I had to draw an emoticon, what would it look like?" 

  • Pljohns

    Thanks Cynthia-that is so, so true.  I think anyone dealing with a chronic illness goes through all of those emotions at the same time fairly frequently-sort of like emotional vegetable soup-just throw it all together, stir it around and see what it turns out like.

    I'm doing better today-no rattling cough, not tight and feeling much better.  I finally slept good (after I quit shaking from all the meds) but at least I feel better this morning.  I guess from time to time we just have to do something stupid to be reminded that we have asthma and always will.

  • Shea

    👑 One of my favorite stories when I was little was The Princess and the Pea. Asthma is like feeling what no one else can feel under thousands of pillows. And it makes each of us wake up in rough shape. But… That is how you can tell a real princess, and that is beautiful.

  • Brenda Silvia-Torma
    Shea posted:

    👑 One of my favorite stories when I was little was The Princess and the Pea. Asthma is like feeling what no one else can feel under thousands of pillows. And it makes each of us wake up in rough shape. But… That is how you can tell a real princess, and that is beautiful.

    Ooh, I love this!!  

  • LK

    Cynthia,  I love your description of the grief cycle!  Well written and good use of the emojis!!  

    I used to think that once a person went through the grief cycle, then one would be done with it for that event.  I am finding that, as you stated so well, that we are apt to have a "relapse" and have to work our way out of it all over again.  Thank goodness for all of you who help pull me through those numerous times!!      

    Lynn,  So glad you are feeling better today and that you were able to get some good rest last night!!

    Shea,  What a cool comparison!! Love it!!

  • K8sMom2002

    Oh, my goodness, Shea, I LOVE that! You have SUCH a way with words … have you ever done any writing?

    Lynn, so glad you're feeling some better! And like Shea, you've come up with such a terrific comparison — it IS a sort of stew we're in! And just a hint of something can change the whole flavor of the soup. 

    Lisa, I thought that grief was like a checklist, too, until I learned differently from a very wise counselor who was helping me help my sister get through the loss of our mom. Such a simple lesson literally changed my life! I could forgive myself more and forgive others … and reframe what they do or say as they are processing a big loss. 

    But even so, I forget that and it can catch me flat-footed. It's like a ninja attack sometimes … my goodness. I wish we had a ninja emoji!  

  • Shea

    Ugghhharghhghghgh!!!! I just did the worst thing ever!!! Omg. Im super depressed now and totally went through tbe grief stages along the way. Ugh. 

    So my friend recently got chickens. It reminded me of 2 years ago when I really wanted chicjens. I wanted to homestead and have my own eggs. Be self-sufficient. I was like.. Nooo I dont want to risk it.

    Well– after she got her chickens and seeing her boys hspoy and Tommy has always loved and wanted chickens/birds– I started researching online and found quail. My uncle used to raise quail. They are super inexpensive and easy to care for and I just fell in love wuth them reading about them (I swear its in my blood to raise birds– my grandfather fid it as a hobby). Anyways– I checked craigslist and a person near me was selling them for $4 each. I have a front screened room.  I had a "worse comes to worse and they make me ill I can just take them back" mentality. Ive never had a reaction to birds before. 

    Well, I took the chance, we got them, brought them home it was in the evening.. Played with them for a bit I had no reaction. I started falling even harder in love a d getting optimistic. Woke up excited and checking on them. Went to the store the next day, bought more supplies, sat out and just watched them, and listened to music, and felt like I was in heaven. For about an hour. Came in– decided to jump in the shower and saw hives ALL over me. OMG. Tommy and I had made videos, named them all.. Omg… I like cannot believe this… I was not orepared fir this. So I showered and showed Tommy my hives and talked to him and we both cried bc I have to take them back and called the farm back and they are going to let us return them tomorrow (they of course were not happy i even said i dont need a refund i just cant care fir them like this. Im super sad. I even heard myself try to bargain, (me, lol who has worked so hard to fix this issue and i just shoulda never trued)… Ive learned this lesson before. So hopefully my brother will help me tomorrow getting them pacjed up and returning them.. otherwise … Ill have to do it and hopefully not react to badly… Ill wear my mask. Dang. 

    Its just– I was so happy. And so this might be the worst "oh yeah I have allergies" experience to happen to me since… Well i guess theyve all been pretty bad. But Ill tell ya– Im not feeling like a princess (not to sound depressing).. But there really is no way I can think myself positive on this one and I dont even want to try. Im itchy and drowsy from benadryl now. Heartbreaking lesson. 

     

     

     

  • LK

    Oh, Shea!!  Many, many Hugs!!      It is so very hard when we think we can enjoy something and it turns out to be one of our triggers.  I am sorry you had to make the decision to take the quail back but I am so proud of you for making the decision right away and not waiting to see if your reaction gets worse.  

  • Shea

    Thanks guys. I am RAW from this one. I mean– it just brought back all the pain from every…  single…  thing… I super wish i could go back in time to yesterday and just never have done this. I honestly don't know how to deal with the emotional wound this opened up inside of me… But I think it just is the disconnect between my mind/heart and my physical body.. Also I feel outcasted by everyone and I completely understand why– if I could outcast myself I probably would… I am having some serious self-loathing issues and a crises of sorts… A longing to not be who I am and how I am and I swear yesterday (pre-quail) I did not have this… Not like this. I feel empty. 

  • Melissa G

    Shea, my heart is breaking for you. Know you are in my thought and prayers and we are here for you! 

  • Shea

    Thanks. Im recovering bit by bit. I think I saw these quail as a solution to many of my issues.. I felt less lonely and felt like I could relax and care for them and watch them enjoy it and do sonething back for me (make eggs) and it made me feel oroduxtive and like I was interacting with other living things in a way that was mutually beneficial. It got Tommy outside and away from his nintendo and I was able to be outside and relax with him. But I can still do those things without the quail. And if I remember that, then the quail dont have to be a regret. Then it can just be they had a little vacation and I got a little reminder of how to find enjoyment. 

  • Shea

    … What if it was the pine shavings… I didn't have any problems until I got them… This could be me rationalizing and bargaining but…. It could be the pine sgavings.. I love those birds.. It could be worth it to try.. I said I wasn't going to use myself as an allergy test but…. Well.. I could try?? Maybe? Any thoughts?

  • Shea

    I could call my allergist on Monday and go on for a test for poultryquail and call the farm and see if I can hold off on returning them until I get the results….

  • Shea

    Ok ok ok… Im back to earth again. Im going to return them tomorrow. Im not going to test myself on them. I couldnt get help getting someone else to give them a ride tomorrow or helping me clean up the shavings, so i cleared the pine shavings out with my mask on this evening( after benadryl) and my hives got worse despite me covering myself as best and habing the benadryl do i have to take more benadryl now… soooo … Im going to practice what i preach and return them.. Maybe do a test another time in office but not on myself with them. 

  • Shea

    …. Or maybe i can do the test monday and avoid holding them or being in the screeen room until then. 

    I have read a few stories online of people reacting to pine shavings– even horses (I thought of you @LK do you use pine at all?– cedar also has lots of reactions. 

    After I put the pine shavings in one of the quails started to pant a lot too… 

    Before i added tbe pine shavings both me and all the quaild seemed fine.

    And so– since I have an attachment to these birds already– if i asked the farm if i could keep them until next week and get an allergy test early in the week I could possibly know what is causing the reaction… Without exposing myself to any harm. 

  • LK

    @Shea,

     You are a trooper!  I admire how you are trying to work through this.

    Yes, shavings from certain trees is toxic to horses.  Namely the red maple tree and  black walnut tree's shavings, bark and leaves are toxic to horses so we make sure we are using pine shavings.  For the most part most horses do okay on pine shavings.  They have just discovered that the box elder tree is also toxic to horses.  Some horses have a reaction to red cedar as well.

    The thing about shavings is they generally come from a sawmill so if the mill has been sawing other types of wood and you are especially sensitive you may be getting a reaction from the cross "contamination."

    When I was at the allergists the other day there was information about (and you probably already know this) how if you are allergic to a particular grass/pollen then you are more apt to be allergic to certain foods.  It gave a list of about 5 examples of this.  I just looked on their website and I didn't see it but it was in the office.

    While I COMPLETELY understand the emotional attachment you have with the animals, please continue to consider all you options carefully.  It is so hard for me to NOT go groom, ride or otherwise spend lots of time with our horses but I have finally convinced myself that it is something I may not be able to do again.  

    A thought for you, would the breeder be willing to let you take the quail back and then you go visit them for a few days to see if it is the quail?  I don't want you to have a reaction, though so I don't know if that is a good idea or not.

    I hope you find out what exactly is causing your reaction and take the necessary steps.

  • LK

    A new thought for you on the shavings.  Did they come from a pet store where even the exterior bag was exposed to dogs and cats in the area?  Perhaps those allergens came your way by that mode?

  • LK

    Shea,  I pray the Good Lord will give you wisdom and discernment in order to make the best decision.  I will also pray that He will give you peace with your decision.  

    Please let us know how you are doing!  

  • Shea

    Thanks @LK! I did not get the shavings from the pet store. I did read up on pine shavings, usually allergic reactions are more on skin in short term but can long term cause lung problems. I read

    "Abietic acid is a toxic substance found in pine trees.  It can cause allergic reactions when concentrated amounts come in contact with the skin.  ()"

    Also in previous allergy tests I was never allergic to birds. I have had smaller interactions with birds in the past and not been allergic. Tommy was tested prior and had no allergy on skin test to birds. Sooooo…. I am still considering my options. Quail eggs actually have a lot of benefits for those with allergies and immune disease– I was looking forward to trying them… So that is another reason why I am motivated to really looking into this, because I really want it to not be the birds so I can have all the benefits in not of watching them, accomplishment, being productive, more self-sufficient, feeling connected, and health benefits of eggs…. So I'm going to try my best to make sure it's them before giving up.

  • Shea

    Aaaanndd im taking them back…lol.. I had no huves when i woke up… I went out to the front room for 5 minutes and hives.. And that is with me cleaning up all the shavings last night so it had all night to settle. And I have never broken out in hives from that room pre-quail. So… By bye birdies.. Bye bye love and all those things. Lol.. Its sad but its kinda funny. Im sure this wont be the last time this type of thing happens to me BUT… Im not going to try birds anymore!!!

  • Pljohns

    Oh Shea- I’m so sorry!  My heart just breaks that you have to go through this-after getting attached to them and falling in love with them. Life just sucks sometimes and this disease is right there with it.  I’m just so, so sorry!  

    Hang in there-something will come your way that doesn’t flare you or cause you other problems.  We’re here for you with  super, super lots of hugs.

  • Kathy P

    Hugs Shea – sorry the birds didn't work out. Are you in an area where you could have backyard chickens? Wondering if outside would be an option. 

  • Shea

    Hi, thank you all for keeping us on your thoughts. So I returned the quail and super cleaned the front screen porch and the kiddie pool they were in (it is outside, its just a screened in part of the carport, so it is outdoor, super-ventilated, and not attached to the ac of the house at all (I would never try a new animal in my home first except for a reptile because anything furred or feathered has dander and quails poop aLOT too). I dont think itd matter if they were all the way in the lawn except that they might get more problems with ants and not enough shade– quails also get attacked more by owls and crows so they free range well unless theres lots of hiding places and they can fly high when scared–like over a fence and into the neighbors yards who all have dogs).

     We ended up having a good day after I returned the quail–I had to take benadryl again for the hives but then I did just what I said Id do– learn from the quails and play like them so we got out Tommys new kiddie pool (its shallow and looks like an island with a little volcano slide) and played around in it.. I practically fell asleep in it and he played with little bath toys pretending they were quails surfing.

    Just a few minutes agi I HAD to Google "quail spirit guide" (I always look up whatever animal comes into my life after –especially odd ones that seem to happen suddenly or mysteriously or affect me a lot) and it was pretty spot on l– I swear they always are.. It says:

    Nourish your body as well as your soul. Practice self love.
    -Quail

    Lol and there was a lot more about it at the site– very accurate.  You cant nourish just tbe body ir just the spirit. So returning the quails was right… But also recognizing what they brought to my spirit and what my spirit needs is good… So finding that balance where both are well is what I am trying to do.

    Later this evening we made one last stop at toysrus– which was down to one aisle in its last days. Tommy has been interested in karate so I got this little blow-up bat-man-looking guy and a mat and when we got home we practiced karate on him (Tommy had a blast punching snd tackling it) and then I taught Tommy how to do a somersault. Then we played with some of his old toys.

    I feel a lot better today than yesterday. I just have to be compassionate with my body. I still have a lot of things I love about myself, and a lot I can do– I just wanted something to help make money or save money (like quail eggs lol)… And I am so happy to have been approved for disability l, but I am always looking for things I can develop a skill that can both help others AND help me out with making $$ and feeling successful. I feel like I get these ideas every now and again– tried to breed my exotic reptiles but they got in a fight and had to separated them… Then I tried bamboo crafts for a while but construction in general is not so good for asthma and fatigue, tried many crafts but by the time I finish one I never want to do another one and its not good enough to sell. I cant seem to grow vegetables although I have kept my houseplants alive. I can teach Tommy but my immune system is too low to teach others abd my asthma is to unpredictable to be a reluable babysitter for other peoples kids not not mention everyone seems to have cats and or dogs and I cant get dander in my home not would I be able to babysit at theirs. I pretty much am great at homeschooling, teaching Tommy how to do stuff, cooking, cleaning the house, taking care of the lawn, and shopping (albeit– not a professional chef or shopper or lawn-woman)– I pretty much can take care of my iwn but there's nothing left after that can actually make money or give back to the community. 

    I think when our homeschool co-op starts in August I will feel better… I need social interaction.. Like face to face.. And to get to know people in my area.

    Tommy and I are going to look into a kids karate class next week too but Im not sure if I will ge able to afford it.

  • LK

    Shea,    Hugs on the trials of life!  It sounds like you are coming to terms with what you had to do.  As Lynn said, I am confident you will find something that doesn't cause a flare or other problems for you!  

  • Melissa G

    Shea, ask about homeschool classes. There are several places around me that offer classes during the day for a cheaper rate. That is the only way we were able to afford swim lessons for my kids. 

  • Shea

    Yes thank you will definitely look into that as we explore our options and I gauge his interest. 

  • K8sMom2002

    Oh, Shea … what a roller coaster ride! I can see a variety of possibilities of why you had an allergic reaction to the quail …

    • the birds themselves
    • the pine shavings — either the pine itself or the cross-contamination, like Lisa so wisely pointed out
    • the birds' food — we have to be careful with our pets' food because corn is a major ingredient, so DD doesn't feed the pets.
    • the environmental pollen that collects on the birds

    I am so hurting for you right now as you process through this. I think you made a wise choice to return them. Still perhaps you and your allergist can figure out ways to break this down and challenge each part in a safe way. That might help you figure out what pets could work for you. 

    For instance, many new cat litters and animal litters are made from pine shavings. So perhaps your allergist could help you challenge that to see if it made you break out in hives.

    And I really hope you guys can hook up with a local home school coop or group … it could be that you can contribute your own fantastic artistic talents to teach other kids — kind of like a barter system. 

  • Shea

    Thank you both! I miss those little quails. But what a fiasco! Im sure it wasnt pollen because I never have broken out in hives like that due to pollen, and we have had pollen high a lot here on Florida. And Im sure it wasnt just the pine shavings (although I will avoid them from here on out) because the morning after I had cleaned the shavings all up, I went out there just to watch the birds and (had no hives beforehand) but after 5 mintes had hives. So there dander, feathers, droppings– must cause a pretty swift reaction on me. (Which is probably why after after visiting the indian reservation that has a bunch of wild peacocks in it the other day I also had hives/rash– at the time I thought it might've been mold but now I know all the bird droppings and feathers there were more likely the culprits). I dont believe its the food because I did not touch it and have never had reactions to foods in the air– only by ingesting or direct contact (plus nuts was not on the label). Plus my mother is allergic to birds (feathers and droppings). She used to own birds as pets and developed such a bad issue with her lungs they thought at first it was some tyoe of deadly disease, (I remember getting her phine call and it had such a bad prognosis for what they thought she had at first it scared the daylights outta me) but then she went to the allergist and found out she was highly allergic to birds, that she had damage in her lungs from it, and she had to rehome the birds–my younger sister was so sad but she got over it- I was just happy to have my mom. I am not one to risk a human's health over a pet/animal– I know the hurt and danger involved too well. No animal is worth my mom. Even with the quails, I was never going to allow them inside because I always wanted my mom to be able to visit comfortably. No worries on that now. 

    I just cannot be a farmer. But K8SMom is right– bartering is a good idea, if I can find something I can do with my health and skillset into account to barter with or make extra cash thatd be very nice. I like the idea of things I can do on my own– not scheduled at a certain time– and not too social or sale-sy, but that involves some safe interaction and where I come out ahead financially-speaking. And that Tommy can be with me for. It is tough, but I am going to find my calling!

  • Kathy P

    Wow that reaction sounds pretty definitive!

    I'm sure you come up with something. 

  • Pljohns

    Shea-I can't imagine how broken hearted you are but your health is WAY more important that birds and you did what was best for you.  You are such a talented and determined lady, I have no doubt you will find something you can do that works with you/Tommy/allergies and gives you some extra $$. 

  • Brenda Silvia-Torma
    Shea posted:

    Just a few minutes agi I HAD to Google "quail spirit guide" (I always look up whatever animal comes into my life after –especially odd ones that seem to happen suddenly or mysteriously or affect me a lot) and it was pretty spot on l– I swear they always are.. It says:

    Nourish your body as well as your soul. Practice self love.
    -Quail

    Lol and there was a lot more about it at the site– very accurate.  You cant nourish just tbe body ir just the spirit. So returning the quails was right… But also recognizing what they brought to my spirit and what my spirit needs is good… So finding that balance where both are well is what I am trying to do.

    I feel a lot better today than yesterday. I just have to be compassionate with my body. I still have a lot of things I love about myself, and a lot I can do– I just wanted something to help make money or save money (like quail eggs lol)… And I am so happy to have been approved for disability l, but I am always looking for things I can develop a skill that can both help others AND help me out with making $$ and feeling successful. I feel like I get these ideas every now and again– tried to breed my exotic reptiles but they got in a fight and had to separated them… Then I tried bamboo crafts for a while but construction in general is not so good for asthma and fatigue, tried many crafts but by the time I finish one I never want to do another one and its not good enough to sell. I cant seem to grow vegetables although I have kept my houseplants alive. I can teach Tommy but my immune system is too low to teach others abd my asthma is to unpredictable to be a reluable babysitter for other peoples kids not not mention everyone seems to have cats and or dogs and I cant get dander in my home not would I be able to babysit at theirs. I pretty much am great at homeschooling, teaching Tommy how to do stuff, cooking, cleaning the house, taking care of the lawn, and shopping (albeit– not a professional chef or shopper or lawn-woman)– I pretty much can take care of my iwn but there's nothing left after that can actually make money or give back to the community. 

    I think when our homeschool co-op starts in August I will feel better… I need social interaction.. Like face to face.. And to get to know people in my area.

    Shea, I think you hit the nail on the head…social interactions will boost your spirits! The quail lesson is a hard one because you love them. They represented an opportunity for you and Tommy to nourish something and in return, be nourished by them.

    I don't think its a coincidence that the word "nourish" was in the quail description. Practicing self-love (ie. returning the very birds that you loved because despite their positive impact, they ultimately were not good for your health) is always a hard decision…but it usually the right one! If we don't take care of ourselves, then we cannot take care of others we love. 

    Perhaps the quails reminded you that with social interaction, you can blossom!  

    I'm proud of you!!